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Wednesday, December 27, 2017

December 24, 2017 Isaiah 9.2-7,

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light.
On those living in a land of deep darkness, light has dawned.

You have made the nation great;
you have increased its joy.
They rejoiced before you as with joy at the harvest,
as those who divide plunder rejoice.
As on the day of Midian, 
you’ve shattered the yoke that burdened them,
the staff on their shoulders,
and the rod of their oppressor.
Because every boot of the thundering warriors,
and every garment rolled in blood
will be burned, fuel for the fire.
A child is born to us, 
a son is given to us,
and authority will be on his shoulders.
He will be named
Wonderful Counselor, 
Mighty God,
Eternal Father, 
Prince of Peace.
There will be vast authority and endless peace
for David’s throne and for his kingdom,
establishing and sustaining it with justice and righteousness
now and forever.

The zeal of the Lord of heavenly forces will do this.

HOMILY
It seemed like the latest hours I knew as a child, when put to bed before sundown, I would watch the canary yellow of my room fade to grey, and hear the distant sounds of older children still out past bedtime. Luffing off my sheets, I would stand backwards against the helm of my little-wooden-twin-headboard, balancing my sea-legs between it, the mattress, and the crack in-between, where my pillow could be stuffed, at least momentarily, to see out the window.

My city’s nightfall was perforated by a haze of street lights, and the grainy film darkness was floored by golden polka doted light pools, evenly spaced, along the black asphalt of an apartment complex across the drainage ditch from my backyard. In those spotlights, the starkness of a shadow’s edge became the revelatory details of night, and therefore I would stare into them, as if they held the answers for the things I didn’t know, the things which darkness shielded, and the things for which bedtimes were put to avoid. 

But of all my staring, and wanting to know, only once did I ever see anything in the spotlight and it was simple. I remember a black shadow of a boy running across the yellow pool of light, like “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over candlestick,” Though the nursery rhyme warned of the danger of night, I saw, with his jumping, that there was still life to be had in the darkness and that it was good.

And imagine the shepherds in the fields likewise, watching the warm summer’s canary-yellow sun turn everything it touched to goldenrod just before dusk. I imagine the length of the day stretching into sunset over the hills, and the sky above slowly fading to it’s blue gloaming before twilight, and it’s quiet that falls with the sundown and settles in the dark of night. I imagine them on top of their blankets, watching their flocks at night. Christians have always read this darkness as a thing to fear, that the shepherds watched for the wolf or the coyote, or any danger that might befall them and their flock, because we couldn’t imagine anything good happening after midnight, be they predators to sheep in a field, or little girls staring out their bedroom windows. But what if it wasn’t like that, what if it was a summer’s night, without the fear of chill and cold, when even black water was inviting, and subsequent night swimming was invigorating, when the darkness is friendly, and the quiet is welcome, and we are unafraid? What if that was and is, what it was like that night? Would we know? What if it is this night? Would we know? When is the last time we watched the night?
Was it when fear had a grip on our future that wouldn’t let us sleep? Was it when the loneliness of grief became the restless partner in an empty bed? Was it the distraction of staying up too late to avoid the fullness of the next day’s work? And in those moments did we just toss and turn cursing the dark, or did we sit up, watch it, and welcome it in, or perhaps go out to walk in it? 

The prophet Isaiah speaks, of a “people walking in darkness” and the Israelites, have had many a reason to be afraid of the dark. They are living as refugees in their own land, under the heavy thumb of their oppressor, wars rage and blood covers every garment. And therefore, they live in a land of deep darkness. Likewise, there are times when the darkness seems to have chosen us, and will not let up, as if we are in a wrestling match with the devil and have to cling on hard for a blessing to come with the dawn. And there are other times when we choose the darkness knowing and watching for the life it will bring.

My friend James went out for a night walk, through a forest of massive fifteen foot bonfires everywhere. A prescribed burn of the slash dropped from fall’s thinning created giant flames patch-working the snow laden forest. He described it as one of the most surreal experiences of his life, first walking with a friend, and then going back alone. And so often, those moments are surreal, when we choose to walk into the dark, rather than away from it. I imagine him going back, the way a night fire can beckon us in, with both fear and comfort at the same time. I imagine it, like the renewal promised in a yule log, where we set one year to end by burning it so long that it becomes fuel for the next. Those bonfires releasing the lodge pole pine cone seeds to sprout, and the ashen earth soon to erupt into spring morels. The prophet Isaiah, echo’s the scorched earth’s promise, by praising God saying, “every boot of the thundering warriors, and every garment rolled in blood will be burned, fuel for the fire.” That the boots of the warriors shall turn into the carols of angels, proclaiming,

“A child is born to us, 
a son is given to us,
and authority will be on his shoulders.
He will be named
Wonderful Counselor, 
Mighty God,
Eternal Father, 
Prince of Peace.”

And the angel said unto them, watching their flocks by night, 

“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, 
which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, 
who is Christ the Lord.
And suddenly there was with the angel
 a multitude of the heavenly host 
praising God and saying,
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward all!”

These are the things which happen at night. So, for Isaiah, and my friend James, and me as a kid at the window, and the shadow of the child I saw jumping, and the shepherds in the fields, and also to the sleepless we who are crowded in this dark night, may we know the way to that peace is through the darkness, for in that darkness is life.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

December 17, 2017 John 1:6–8, 19–28


John 1:6–8, 19–28
A man named John was sent from God. 
He came as a witness to testify concerning the light, 
so that through him everyone would believe in the light. 
He himself wasn’t the light, but his mission was to testify concerning the light.                                                                   

The Lord God’s spirit is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me.
The Lord has sent me
to bring good news to the poor,
to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim release for captives,
and liberation for prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and a day of vindication for our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
to provide for Zion’s mourners,
to give them a crown in place of ashes,
oil of joy in place of mourning,
a mantle of praise in place of discouragement.
They will be called Oaks of Righteousness,
planted by the Lord to glorify the Lord.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins;
they will restore formerly deserted places;
they will renew ruined cities,
places deserted in generations past.
I, the Lord, love justice;
I hate robbery and dishonesty.
I will faithfully give them their wage,
and make with them an enduring covenant.
Their offspring will be known among the nations,
and their descendants among the peoples.
All who see them will recognize
that they are a people blessed by the Lord.
I surely rejoice in the Lord;
my heart is joyful because of my God,
because God has clothed me with clothes of victory,
wrapped me in a robe of righteousness
like a bridegroom in a priestly crown,
and like a bride adorned in jewelry.
As the earth puts out its growth,
and as a garden grows its seeds,
so the Lord God will grow righteousness and praise before all the nations.

***
I don’t like to run on the path at night because it is too bright. I can see where I am to step just fine because of the lamp lights overhead, but I can’t see what is ten feet beyond them. I do not know if someone is there, where my eyes can’t adjust past the beaming into the dark, and isn’t this what they try to teach women who run anyway, to be afraid of the dark. 

We do it with our children, night-lights that lead from bedrooms to bathrooms, or toys that glow which are supposed to ease toddlers to sleep, when in fact, they disrupt their circadian rhythms. Adults, we are not that much different, when we look around the house once we’ve locked the door against scary nighttime intruders, there are blue and green dots of light, the cell phone charging, the printer still on, the stereo on pause, and the digital clock on the wall. I remember going to sleep in my grandmother’s room growing up and watching the clock, because I could, at night, in her house, big green diamond shaped numbers blinked the minutes by, and I would try to wait up just to see the double-digits, and especially if I could make it to 11:11, because that was a wishing number, there in the dark, that somehow I could never have time to wait and watch for in the light of day, everything else I could see was too distracting from just being, and waiting for wishes to come.

And isn’t that the way of things, that we avoid those dark, quiet waiting spaces? That we 
equate light with goodness, and dark with evil, despite the metaphor’s historic oppression of people of color. You look up the word dark in the thesaurus and it gives you adjectives like lack of light, but also, shaded complexion and hair, right next to, grim and hopeless, evil, satanic, ignorant, a time without light, and the witching hour. And you look up the word light, and it describes, illuminated, blond and fair, not heavy, simple, easy, funny, cheery, luminescence. I remember in my sorority’s play each year watching my sisters’ subconsciously pick the roll of the angel with a ring of white flowers as a halo, to be whomever was the blondest girl. That somehow those who were darker could not be as pure or heavenly. But what if that darkness was just where the heavenly begins to appear. What if there were no lamp lights on the path and I could run with eyes adjusted and glance from the freckles of stars across their Milky-Way cheek bones - to the brush strokes black trees against the blue of December’s Snow Moon. What if we scrolled all the way to the end of the thesaurus and found that black also can be a word for hidden, and secret, and mystery. What we honored the passing minutes and knew that almost midnights, like 11:11, held wishes that could possibly be granted. What if instead of locking our door against the nighttime intruders, we became more concerned with the power buttons that intrude our own sleep within our home. What if instead of teaching our children, “Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep, please guide me safely through the night and wake me with the morning light,” or the old scarier version, of, “and if I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take,” as if night and death were scary and left us without God, we taught our children to enjoy the dark, to let their eyes adjust, to honor the shades in shadows, and the wax and wane of the moon. Growing up, my mom, a children’s librarian by profession and a naturalist by passion, would walk us to the bathhouse on camping trips, and along the way we would turn off our flashlights, and she would point out the stars of Orion and his belt, and the Centaur and his maze, and she would tell us the stories of the constellations such that to be outside at night was a source of wonder and awe and imagination and dreams. Then, we would go back to the city, where too many lights brightened out the stars and our dreams were polluted by other people’s fear. But what if what we feared was the light creeping into our darkness, what if what we rallied against was the stealing of our dreams, the labeling of black as bad, and the avoidance of night, because it is to this darkness Jesus comes. 

Jesus is born not in the bright busyness of day, but in the quiet, solitude of night. What if our pictures of the nativity are not to be full color seeing every angle of yellow hay, but instead a cast of grey lines and shadows, surrounding the soft wrap of swaddling clothes against the smoothness of dark baby’s cheek. What if we allowed the nativity to be at night, true night? Would we be able to find the Lord better if we dimmed the distractions and focused in. I think too of the angels, who do not come to the shepherd girls on a sunny afternoon, the angels whose halos illumine a multitude of completions, show up after the sheep have been counted saying, “Do not be afraid.” and their songs of Gloria, Gloria, In ExCelesis Deo,” became the first lullabies of our Christian tradition. Similarly, the Magi, could only travel by night, turning out their lanterns, like my mother, sister and I, clicking off our flashlights and following the stars. And after seeing the Lord, they go home by another way, through another unfamiliar darkness, I supposed because they know the safety of traveling in the night. So, to us, as these night’s come quickly and stay long through morning, maybe we too are to lean into the darkness, because to that darkness is where Jesus comes, where we will find the mystery of our Lord.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

December 3, 2017 Isaiah 64.1–9



Historical Context: “Some Israelites displaced by Babylonian aggression had now returned to Jerusalem under Persian sponsorship. The Israelites who had not been displaced clashed with this immigrating group over questions of status, social standing, and, ultimately, political and religious authority. Contemporary readers of this material should understand it in the context of overriding colonial power. Persia remained the real arbiter of power. This local tension reflects the way that colonization reconfigures group identity, not just in relation to the external colonizing power, but also in relation to each other,” Dr. Corrine Carvalho, http://www.workingpreacher.org/preaching.aspx?commentary_id=3485

Isaiah 64.1–9, Pg. 694
If only you would tear open the heavens and come down!
    Mountains would quake before you
 like fire igniting brushwood or making water boil.
If you would make your name known to your enemies,
    the nations would tremble in your presence.
When you accomplished wonders beyond all our expectations;
    when you came down, mountains quaked before you.
From ancient times,
    no one has heard,
    no ear has perceived,
    no eye has seen any god but you
    who acts on behalf of those who wait for God!
You look after those who gladly do right;
    they will praise you for your ways.
But you were angry when we sinned;
    you hid yourself when we did wrong.
We have all become like the unclean;
    all our righteous deeds are like a fithy rag.
All of us wither like a leaf;
    our sins, like the wind, carry us away.
No one calls on your name;
    no one bothers to hold on to you,
    for you have hidden yourself from us,
    and have handed us over to our sin.
 But now, Lord, you are our father.
    We are the clay, and you are our potter.
    All of us are the work of your hand.
Don’t rage so fiercely, Lord;
    don’t hold our sins against us forever,
    but gaze now on your people, all of us:

SERMON
The evening before, riding back from a bike-tour around Bogota, Uncle Andy told me to watch my camera, that we were in a historically dangerous section of Columbia, South America, called La Candelaria. What it looked like to me was old and beautiful, with narrow cobblestone streets, cornered in by small colonial houses, under red tiled roofs, fronting charming colorful painted murals. What it looked like to me was exactly an area I wanted to photograph and one that didn’t feel very dangerous. That evening, people were out, young students and hosteling tourists mingled, drinking, talking, and smoking, the smell of marijuana only sporadic, discreet enough not to bother, but open enough to remind of it’s more recent legality in Columbia, and it’s equally as recent unrest due to the American greed for marijuana and other drugs. Yet, also through the air, music played, and a mime juggled in front of a white church, where watchers gathered as if hearing a sermon outside. If anything the scene reminded me of Montmartre in Paris, a perfect monastery overlook, where unlike Uncle Andy’s admonition, general awareness evaded crime, rather than overt avoidance of the area. Obliging him, only because the light was fading, I tucked my camera in my shirt for the duration.

In the morning, waking early, before anyone else, I left a note for the Irvine family, that I was going on a walk to take pictures. Before entering the street, I checked and memorized my map, ‘Go all down Carrera 4 (Quatro) skirting the highway on your left, then turn left on Calle 12.1/2 (dulce y medio). That will bring me right back to the murals on old colonials and oldest street in Bogota. Walking out the gate, the quiet city was alive with morning’s smells, arepas and empanadas fried in oil, last night’s indigent urine stained the concrete, and tito, cheap brewed coffee steamed from thermoses. I was met with the long steps of students and workers with places to go surpassing my memorized yet gazing pace. Intersections filled and the sound grew, cars and taxis screeched, chortled, and honked. Short friendly greetings of neighbors and regular vendors to customers clapped of the language their familiar routine, while I, white and clearly misplaced and unfamiliar, navigated alongside it, as the streets became more narrow, less commercial and increasingly colorful. Calle 12.1/2 (dulce y medio), left. 

And I began, I snuck out my phone camera, while stepping to the inside so students could pass on their way, as I leaned against the wall for a window’s reflection against a black and white doodled mural. Back in my fanny pack, hidden under my poncho, I zipped my phone away. Then, “Bird on a wire,” I sang softly at a colorful house with such depicted underneath an actual wire, as if the song, and the painting, and the technology were all to blend. A security guard peeked out a parking-lot doorway to watch and shyly greet me with a nod and I returned it. I noticed a rusted metal community board with a dozen ripped and fading fliers some in English selling to tourists, others in Spanish I couldn’t quite read, and I took another picture then the light changed moving from behind a cloud and I took another photo of the same sign with the clear morning light. Around the corner, the white church bleached back the sun, picture, and the beading sky blue painted parsonage wall beckoned, picture, shadows of a trees both fake and real confetti-ed its surface, picture, picture, the plastic white leafed maple enchanted like hoarfrost, picture, the light behind it with the street scene picture, climbing on a bench for the roof of the parsonage wall, picture, hopping off for the yarrow looking plant growing from between the tiles, picture. Walking to the entrance of the narrow street, a local young woman on her way to class texting a picture herself.

At the nave of the street, an older lady, was washing her porch step and throwing the suds down the road. “Buen Dia.” “Buen Dia,” I responded. “Como estas?” she asked, “Muy bien, y tu, usted,” I shyly, using the formal I remembered from addressing my professor in high-school. “Muy bien,” she said smiling. “Tu calle es may bonita,” I tried, my gestures outsized like charades. And she brightened even more, understanding my attempt at a grateful compliment. We nodded and continued on. 

Again, a thousand pictures in my eyes, murals of birds, picture, another blue wall and a widow with bars, picture, a roof of corrugated plastic held with bamboo poles nevertheless decorated with Christmas lights, picture, a statue of a man jumping from roof to colorful balcony, picture, a busy mural of birds and a tiger and a woman next to a sign for tattoos, the green, yellow and red of the Columbia flag and a parrot, picture. And then, high up, on the other side of the street, a red brick wall, a white window frame, blue shutters, and on the ledge, a nativity. 

Up the sidewalk, to the high point, and still unable to get the correct distance. I unzipped my fanny pack, pulling out what I call my real camera, zipping away my ironically more expensive phone, could the old film body’s magnifying lens reach? Not quite. 

Then the older woman again, dressed for the day, scarf tied under her head, cane beside her, looked and began shaking her head at me, pointing to my camera, and speaking more quickly. I caught the elementary, “Donde estas Tu?” The rhetorical question confused me. I was not staying here, I was and I pointed the director of the Airbnb, that wasn’t what she meant. Of course I knew where I was, I had navigated all by myself, I was in South America, in Columbia, in Bogota. I think what she meant, was, “La Candlaria,” the most historically dangerous section of Columbia, like Uncle Andy had chided me, “Do you know where you are?” she was asking, but I didn’t understand the words until thinking about it later. Yet, I understood her emotion, her fear for me and exasperation with a nice young woman tourist trying to take pictures, with what she perceived as a fancy camera, because it was there, about a month’s wage in that city. I could read her gestures, as reprimand. She pointed to the police officer and told him what I expect was, “this girl is not paying enough attention, watch her.” I both felt ashamed, and indignant. I had noticed the officer and his dog at the end of the street, and his careful eye on me and the locals passing by on their way to begin their day. I had been told by two Bogotanos that the police were not corrupt here and I had seen multiple that morning in this tiny neighborhood with hostels and tourists. I am not sure I would have uncovered my big camera if the officer was not there. I hadn’t on other streets nearby. Besides, I had gone out early in the morning when crime is unlikely. I had watched for the streets to empty and I looked for anything suspicious before sliding out my phone for each picture. I had traveled enough all over the world to recognize when to be especially careful, but this was not it, and honestly when it came down to it, I was willing to risk getting things stolen, or being held up, for the dare of a picture. Comedian David Sedaris and writer Hunter S. Thompson, had to say yes, in order to get their stories, I had to take a little risk to do what I love in taking pictures, it was a way I see and appreciate the world. Besides I pondered, doesn’t my taking pictures and posting them to social media, show Columbia has become safe? Doesn’t it help the whole cycle, where more visitors will come, and with them legal money, and jobs, and the awareness of their culture and history? I nodded to the officer, and the woman went on her way, but our pleasant interaction of prior had been defeated and I was too. There is no way to be a tourist in another country without disrupting that country. My humble compliment in and of itself a colonization, what does it matter if I think her street is beautiful, if it means she and the officer have to watch out for me, if it means the officer is placed in that spot, so I and other tourists can come with our voyeuristic cameras, and take pictures. We can come and take from Columbia, just as Americans and others have for decades, from the Spanish Inquisition stealing it’s gold, centuries of killing and enslaving the people, to our trafficking of marijuana, cocaine, and methamphetamine today, all while pretending to care by creating a War on Drugs that is a front to catch the, ‘bad guys,’ like Pablo Escobar, while ignoring our own dependence on their underground economy. Add to that tourists who come to Columbia sporting, ‘Make American Great Again,’ hats not knowing that people outside the Estados Unidos consider America to be two continents, not catching the irony of building wall. Add to that China and United State’s disregard for the environment by illegally mining in Columbia. Add to that me, taking pictures and with it, police who probably have better things to do, more important things to do, than keep tourists safe. 

It is like the scripture, which laments, 
“We have all become like the unclean;
    all our righteous deeds are like a filthy rag.
All of us wither like a leaf;
    our sins, like the wind, carry us away.”

The exiled Israelites, like tourists, returned to Jerusalem under Prussian sponsorship, and thus disrupted the city they loved and the people in it. They felt a claim because once it was a part of their history. Likewise, I came, to a place my country has helped spoil, and I will get on a plane, and leave, and probably never come back, like a leaf, my sins on the tailwind carried away, as there are always new places to explore. Others, perhaps even upon seeing my pictures, will also come and go, but what lasting positive change have I, who can’t even understand Spanish, made. I am but a disruption. 

The scripture laments again,
“No one calls on your name;
    no one bothers to hold on to you,
    for you have hidden yourself from us,
    and have handed us over to our sin.”

There is no way I can see to right my wrong without attempting to justify it. I am a disruption, my mere presence changes the culture which I am attempting to experience, understand, and capture. 

Yet, I think of that last picture, of the joy of happening upon the nativity, far off on a white window ledge against blue shutters, and it’s tiny figurines recognizable not on their own, but instead by their shape bending over a baby, which I could not even see. I think of the way those figures represent Mary and Jospeh who traveled back to their homeland for the census to be taxed, and I think of the way the shepherds came from out in the fields with the gaze of wonder as their guide, and the way, the Magi, of a completely different religion and race came offering gifts, and I think of the way I too came, bent with camera, gazing with wonder, offering the gifts of gratitude and appreciation, and there is something there, that rises above the sin of my transgressing and trespassing in foreign places. There is something there in the traveling from afar to come together in praise of a creator bigger than ourselves and a hope beyond our making.

I think of the scripture’s hope, 

“But now, Lord, you are our father.
    We are the clay, and you are our potter.
    All of us are the work of your hand.”

Like Mary and Jospeh, and the Shepherds, and the Magi, there is a way that traveling from a far, makes each of us, the Bogotanos, the Americans, the Chinese, the Spanish, and the resident Columbians all a sort of clay. Clay that is constantly molded by a potter who is above our separate identities, yet delights in the unique. Might travel be then to notice the work of God’s hand? That travel praises the sculpture of a city, or a woman I called, “usted,” and thus praise the Potter of us all? 

Therefore, I speak the scripture’s own words,

“Don’t rage so fiercely, Lord;
    don’t hold our sins against us forever,
    but gaze now on your people, all of us:”

All of us, who have come, even though broken, to witness the nativity you bring.