April 12, 2015 John 20:19-31

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After Jesus said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When Jesus had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
A week later his disciples were again in the house and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then Jesus said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.

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There is a photograph from last summer of my closest friend Lisa and me in the first minutes of seeing each other. We are sitting on her hammock, but the excitement reads like a track stadium before the starting gun. Every muscle in our bodies, from our smiles to our fingers, is taunt with the unbelief that the moment has come and anticipation for the moments to come. My head is bowed in giggles, my shoulders toward my ears, a shyness of the overwhelming joy. Lisa is looking at me with a face that articulates our dialogue, “I cant believe you are here.” “I cant believe I am here.”

Conversely, yet relatedly, our drives to the airport are never our best moments. There are a million things to talk about but none seem worthy enough, nor short enough, for the thirty minutes before parting. Passenger and driver, we miss what one another is trying to say, trying to focus on the present, as the life without one another comes closer and closer, that it cant be ignored. Until, like yesterday pulling up to the gate, Lisa asked, “Its Southwest right?” and instead of answering, “Yes,” I started repeating, “I hate Southwest, I hate Southwest,” until tears bubbled up surprising me, the same type of swelling innate emotion as that first giggle.

I imagine for Thomas seeing Jesus, is kind of like two best friends on a hammock, to sit side by side is to see the marks that death and heartbreak have left, and the way the nails healed and the scars became lessons and learnings. I can see that Thomas wants the reassurance, not only of their friendship, but also of the health of his friend, Jesus. Moreover, Jesus had shown up to Mary and the disciples, but Thomas missed out, and perhaps his feelings are hurt, perhaps that's why his response sounds as it does. Perhaps this scripture isn't doubting Thomas, but hurting Thomas. “I hate Southwest, I hate Southwest.” On that airport drive yesterday, I thought about what it will be like when I am too old or frail to travel, to no longer be able to sit side by side. I told myself, in denial, that it will never happen or technology will figure something out. At that moment, I said to Lisa, “Tentative fourth of July in LA?” It helped to know or at least to have an idea.

But the difference between Thomas and Jesus, and Lisa and I, is Thomas has to try to remain in relationship with someone he will never again see, at least side by side. Blessed are those that carry on without future plans but rest in the hope and belief that relationship still remains. This is what Jesus is asking Thomas. To still be connected even though they won't be for so, so long. Thomas is not that different from we in this sanctuary. We do not get to see Jesus in the flesh, but we believe in him because we have heard the stories and see him in the flesh of our lives. We wait and we have to look for him in special, smaller ways. We see him walking him in the church as the kids are running in the church and talking about Manna. We see him in Fran walking in this morning with flowers to decorate the sanctuary and the family both church and biological who will not let a spot feel empty. We see them in little kids smiling and when we look up the entire congregation is doing likewise, and silly faces. We see them in announcements about Vacation Bible School and an Inquirers Class. We see them in Sharon, Tanya and Gundula’s preschool class with science project bunnies and kids all following in a line. We have to find Jesus alive before us in these ways, because he is not showing up in the way we perhaps want him to.

Examples from community…
Examples from the world…

And I think part of why Lisa and I are so close is because of the ways we sustain our friendship when we are apart. She sends me pictures of butterflies, which are my thing, and I send her ones of rainbows - which are hers. I send snail mail and she sends videos. Our text chain would tell the stories of our lives, and like Mark Twain’s autobiography, should only be published a hundred years after our passing for all the incriminating evidence that any two best friends share. We have dinner together over Skype and occasional dance parties. Sometimes we get busy with our own lives in our own places, but if the other leaves and I need to talk to you text, we will make time. I think Jesus is the same in those little moments where Jesus is making time, showing up in those little moments in the midst of our lives. Jesus is the same it just takes looking in a different way. We have the promise of tentative plans, that some day we will sit on hammocks side by side and see each other's stories of death and heartbreak and healing and lessons learned, but until that day, it takes sustaining the relationship moment by moment in the place where we are. It takes silly faces, it takes a gift of flowers, it takes youth reading us the dialogue of our text, it takes us here now. In those moments we are blessed. Blessed are we that do not see but still believe. Blessed are you in this sanctuary with the hope of seeing Easter again and again each day.